"It’s odd, thinking about death while being an atheist. To understand that afterward, you are simply not.

Dawkins and Hitchens both know that what is coming is permanent. There is no happy ending, with no chance of reunion or redemption in some other plane. Death will be a final parting, permanent and absolute.

In that embrace, it’s not just that Hitchens means a great deal to Dawkins. It’s knowing that soon, they’ll be separated by eternity. And yet, in infinite time and space, two motes of consciousness, against unfathomable odds, simply had the opportunity to enjoy a brief lucidity of life and touch each other in some small way before returning forever to the endless naught.

Honestly, there is absolutely nothing more important than the realization that this life, the single life we have, is all and everything that we will ever have; when it’s over, it’s over. In a way, it gives life more sanctity and meaning than any religion could dream."


J.

Ref: http://imgur.com/r/atheism/MtkXz (Arion VIII)

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I've spent on you
Where are the times gone baby
It's all wrong, we're at the place we made for two
If happy ever after did exist I would still be holding you like this
And all those fairytales are full of shit
One more fucking love song I'll be safe
You turned your back on tomorrow
Cause you forgot yesterday I gave you my love to borrow
But just gave it away
You can't expect me to be a friend
I don't expect you to care I know I said it before
But all of our bridges burnt down I've wasted my nights
You turned out the lights
Now I'm paralysed
Still stucked in that time when we called it love
But even the sun sets in paradise

 H.

This.


H.

I was going to avoid commenting because I thought that it was eloquent enough, but the grammatical errors are just that bit too annoying to not mention. So I did, and I have. (*were)




H.




1. Santayana George,  The Life of Reason: Reason in Common Sense (2nd ed.), Charles Scribner's Sons, New York 1924

Him

I know this is actually a round-about way of saying Happy Birthday, but I'd prefer to make those words true than wish them to be so.

Happy Birthday Luke.

H.

しかし、何も事項私はあなたを愛しているから。


H.

Watshi ha wakarimasenn. Watashi no tokidoki ha sakebimasu. Demo, atode watshi hamamadesu. Wakarimasenn. Anata wa, watashi ga amarini mo ōku o kitai suru yōna kibun ni sa seru. Soshite watashi wa gizen-tekina kanji. Wareware wa, saigo ni subete no tawagoto no hitodakara。

ハ.

This is what it is.

This has been a long time coming. And despite that, I'm still at a loss of what to actually write. What this all comes down to is resentment and jealousy. I guess this is the product of my own doing, and I can only blame myself.


None of you were surprised, and indeed many were expecting. So I wonder why I felt the need to keep to myself all these years. The resentment I feel  towards myself, for denying who I am all these years (to what means?), even if just to others, is what's really eating me up inside.


This is where the jealously comes in.

Nothing specific.

Just you.

I could say the way you have this natural ability to outshine everyone. The way, somehow, you just make people like you. Or the way you seem to just have everything you want, worked for or not. But ultimately I'm jealous of your conviction. That you've never felt the need to hide yourself from anyone, or anything. For it feels like I've wasted all these years trying to be something I'm not (for myself more than others), and missed the opportunity to really live, until now. I look back into the past, I knew who I was. And now you do too.

H.

You may have noticed.

It's gonna be a long long journey
It's gonna be an uphill climb
It's gonna be a tough fight
It's gonna be some lonely nights
But I'm ready to carry on
I'm so glad the worst is over
I can start living now,
I feel like I can do anythin'


I told myself I'd retire this. I told her I wouldn't write this.


There's some sort of closure I can't seem to find, without writing something here.


I just don't know.


and I guess I never will.