we all stop making plans one day. the only difference is that some people realise when their reach exceeds their grasp, and others don't.


J.

I don't even know what to write on here any more these days. I've come to the point where it might just be easier to recycle those old blog posts from last time, but somehow I can see that this time there is actually potential for resolution. Speaking of last time, I've finally let it go. (Forever).


H.

We're all right where we should be. Lift my arms out wide. I open my eyes. And now all I wanna see. Is a sky full of lighters, a sky full of lighters.

Lets be honest;

I feel like I should be more sad and although I justify my lack of emotion by the old adage of the long and happy life, I can see that there is more to this story. Maybe I'm just too tired to care. But I also know that life's weary trudge tends to accentuate these feelings, not the contrary.

I loved to see the faces and hear those stories. The ones from a time long past of decaying grandure and a life lived in cheating and betrayal, and for the three siblings which have all ended up 90 year later in the same place. My very own family version of A Streetcar Named Desire.

So as the catered sandwiches are wrapped and returned to the ice box, the teapot washed, and the china returned to the kitchen, you've got to wonder about this all.

Should we be expecting our own unhappy ending?

Strange week all round.

you. what can I say?

like that moment when the sun comes out on the most gloomiest of days.
like the feeling when your day just works.
like that feeling of freedom when you just get into your car and drive.
like that first sip of coffee on a cold winter's morning.
or when your favourite song comes on the radio and you can't help but sing along.

I can live without the rest. I can't live without you. 


H.

I tried, so very hard. Sometimes it doesn't make any difference, the world just fucks its self up on its own accord.

I don't do this poor thing very well. The anxiety, the unknown. I thought I was over this, I guess I was wrong.

You can count on me- I'll be there. 


H.

Well its done.

I mean I wasn't even there for that long, but it still seems to be overwhelmingly sad, and that has a lot to do with Borders' status of not only a shop, but almost a destination. And I suppose it is this unusual take on the retail experience that made it all it was, and led to its downfall too.

The co-workers will be missed. The books will be missed. Even (some of) the customers will be missed.

you have it all wrong.




H.

I'm aware that that you shouldn't compare yourself to others, and use this comparison as a judge of how successful you or they are. We don't live in an ideal life, and so I do it anyway. This next part is going to offend most of you. Stop reading now.

So these comparison's I make, usually involve several insignificant markers as a gauge to how far you've progressed through life. Things like, not having your motor-vehicle license ( through not a lack of trying, but the lack of a will to get it), or even way back when, not having ever had a job. And I think, that's why I often come across (without meaning to, but acknowledge-ably so) somewhat superior. What it comes down to, is me judging the lack of motivation to progress. To see the opportunity waiting there, and not do anything about it. Actually, I think what I'm more getting at is independence.




but hey, this is my problem, not yours. I was never one to 'wait' anyway.


H.