...

Once upon a time there was a little red hen who lived in a big farm-yard.
One morning the little red hen found a grain of wheat.

"Look!" she said.
"See what I have found. Who will help me to plant this grain of wheat?"

"Not I," said the duck. "I must go down to the pond for a swim."
"Not I," said the cat. "I have some visitors coming in a few minutes."

"Very well, I will then", said the little red hen, and she did.

After a while some weeds appeared among the stalks of wheat.
One day the little red hen asked:
"Who will help me to weed this wheat?"

"Not I," said the duck. "That sort of work doesn't agree with me."
"Not I", said the cat. "I would not be able to tell the weeds from the wheat".

"Very well, I will then", said the little red hen, and she did.

After a while the wheat began to ripen:
"What fine wheat we have," said the cat and the duck.
"Yes, indeed, it is time to reap the wheat," said the little red hen. "Who will help me to reap this wheat?"

"Not I", said the cat.
"Not I", said the duck.

"Very well, then I will", said the little red hen.

She cut the heads off the grain very carefully and put them in a bag.

Then she called to the cat and the duck and she asked, "Now, who will take this wheat to the mill to be ground into flour?"
"Not I", said the duck.
"Not I", said the cat.

"Very well, then", said the little red hen, "I will take it myself".

So the little red hen trudged off to the mill, and in a few hours she was back with a sack of fine flour.

"Now, who is going to make this flour into bread?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I", said the duck.
"Not I", said the cat.

"I will, then," said the little red hen, and she did.

Soon the loaf was ready for the oven.

"Now, who is going to bake this bread?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I", said the cat.
"Not I", said the duck.

"Very well, then", said the little red hen. "I will do it".

So the loaf of bread was baked and it was baked, and it was beautiful, golden and crusty. The little red hen put it on the kitchen table, and the cat and the duck came into the house and looked at it longingly.

"Well now, who is going to eat this loaf of bread?" asked the little red hen.

"I will", said the duck quickly.
"I will", said the cat stepping close.

H.

...

I could carefully picture the words written here mere hours ago, and now, the opportunity to rise up and spill the beans has COME@! and yet, the words seem destined to be forever lost.


H.

...

Shhh... don't speak now, I'm trying to die. -  J. L. D.

H.

...

the heads up: the last wasn't what you thought it was. The saga might just continue, but the thoughts of which are not the most important now.

H.

...


And to think, I almost thought it was a bad idea?


The Internet DIDN't break. Nor my computer, and yet I hadn't checked facebook in almost a week. AND MY[?] WORLD STOPPED. without me knowing. Whent the time comes, when facebook remains the only source of keeping in touch, in a world with many other means,
should
we
just
give
up?

And then I discovered remembered why I don't think this  is really such a bad idea. FUCK you! I really couldn't care what you think [and you can see it hurts].

Would you like to hear a story?

A: I hate these night shifts.
B: why?
A: Because no-one does anything, at least during the day, the crew do the work [and i don't have to pick up the slack]
B: hmmm.
C [in background] : screaming about nothing in particular... doing anything but work.
A: prime example [c]


[time passes]


C: so you don't like me huh?
A: thats not what I said. I don't like the fact you do fuck all.
C: gee lighten up, stop being so serious, have some fun.


Would you like to hear the truth?


A: nothing will ever come of it anyway. [give up now?]
B: you wonder why opportunities pass you up. they  told me they're never going to give you one, with the way you act. this is fact.
C: you're lucky to still be working there as it is.


How about some more? [while I'm at it].

I couldn't be happier getting away. Truly.
Like the cool change, on the 38 degree day, this change might  will be good.
And you don't have to say it. I can see through your words anyway. You won't miss me.

Though even then, I am the expert at avoidance within presence. [this has been proven]

loosing one's mirth? If you ever do try something, give me the courtesy of a phonecall won't you? [you never know, I might join in].

H.


you fucking better believe you just read that.

...

Sure, it wasn't as big or as loud, or even as party-like, but somehow, it seemed more stimulating. Conversation about normal things, the weather, the weekend, the future. None of this flashing lights, high heels, short skirts, with shits and giggles business.

And you know what; the best conversation I had all evening was with the person I've seen 3 times in the past 12 months.

AND you know what else; no. actually. you don't deserve to know this. I'm [for once] not going to tell you.


H.

...

 past nights spent sitting upon the thought-filled verge of nothing, yeilded some respite; i knew other people had these feelings too. 

But lately it seems, that things are fixed [on the most part] for the other people and here i am, with the same old feeling.

I can say it now, it comes when I'm tired. And I reckon I've been tired since last year. [not much of a claim that is it...] Oh what I wouldn't kill for a solid 8+ hours.

None-the less, these feelings are back here again, and they're plaguing me now, and despite my knowledge of knowing why they are here [that all important question], I don't seem to be able to fix this problem me.



H.

Its almost dawning on me, that it might be time to get out that old black book again... But that was so two thousand and nine.

Standing here, all i want to do is scream and yell at you. And yet i can see where you're coming from, and why your saying what you are.

But yet, i really couldn't care. I was told not to burn bridges, but sometimes doing so makes you feel that little bit better, almost as if i might be able to cope. We'll see i guess.

...
I forgot.
I forget.
I have forgotten.
I am forgetting.




J.