...

Can you please just take this short moment, while reading this, to reflect on the ingenuity of RSS, and the wonders it brings.

Possibly the best thing since sliced bread. That cliché is so too overused.

H.

...

You say you feel out of place. You say you feel self-conscious. You wonder if you'll be the only one.

Have you though, considered that, that person might just [also] be me.

Your fear is understandable, but try for one moment, to experience that, everyday.

I remember the time, when it was one in one hundred. Now, here at least, it seems the tables have been turned. So when you venture down that road, just think to yourself, returning provides the same hurdles for me.

H.

...

This is how I spend most nights these days..





H.

...

Looks like I didn't get the job at Myer. :|

So for now I'm stuck at Maccas... and to be honest; I'm not sure how much longer I can last. 8 hours today nearly killed me- and all for less than $80. Yeah that's right; I get paid $9.78 and hour.

Shoutout; If your employer wants a willing and able employee mention me yeah?

But for now; its just fingers crossed that someone pulls out at Chadstone Myer; OR they decide they need more people...

H.

Welcome to the reality: I'm your worst nightmare.

H.

...

Seventeen. Eighteen. 


But a year difference; and yet, miles apart. Though even then; 18 to some means nothing. The realisation that I act 3 years older than I am set in sometime ago, and so I apologise. Mostly for forgetting you act your age, and I don't. 

H.

...

Warning; malice intended.


Awkward? Was it? I hadn't noticed.



H.

Today's outlook: mostly sunny with a good chance of rain

The rain came down and flushed the scene. The water poured across the landscape, washing the grit and grime from every corner. And of course, the morning after the night before is left with the serene feeling of cleansing.

Those taking long walks along beaches at 6 in the morning all have the same troubled faces.

But then, the writing's already on the wall. And if you knew well enough reading the wall would be unnecessary.

Sometimes I hate myself.

The end.

Thats what your hoping for anyway.

This is where I had the explanation, but figured you wouldn't like what i'd have written.

I searched the usual haunts for the people I know, but somehow they always seemed to evade me. This bright world with its sinister innocent appearance is beyond the realms of being dealt with.

The words are rarely said, but then, they rarely need to be. Polite people always try to be polite, but somewhere along the lines, the halfhearted attempt can be seen through.

That false sleep shone through again. Was I supposed to not pretend and let the true colours shine?

Escape. Help. Now.

ps. I miss you.

We all have our pride at stake, bonded to the fact that walls of quaint old houses are paper thin. News travels fast around these small towns, and although the family size has doubled for the next week, the vast expanse leaves enough room for those loneliness birds to settle.

The gunn rang out across the hall, the silence ensued, and the niceties were swept under the carpet. When the prodigal son returned only to be greated with sarcasmic undertones about lost time and opportunity, the son might have well just never looked back.

A week in context is but anything but a short time. The wedge between our fractured friendships has never been driven deeper.

Sometimes a feigned sleep is the only answer to anything.

...

The whirling catastrophic world, continued down the path of utter destruction, until the day, when that short man said; 'enough'.


You know; ending school really isn't all that great. Oh don't get me wrong; the fact I don't have to go any more is simply amazing, but I guess I half expected myself to be more pleased?

In the meantime, drowning my sorrows, has more or less involved the same old things [and of course those few exceptions].

The same old Saga almost lived to see another day, just like the cockroach, it may never die.
The new shoes, enabled the constant beeping, the levels of exhaustion [circa 6.5] and the thirst for more.
Last minute running, to make unscheduled appointments and for the buying of a shimmering skin.
The 6.20am wakeup call; with all that frustration [and the side of bacon].
The end of the world, depicted with a happy ending.
The midnight madness as the twilight diminishes, and the new moon dawns.
The transfer; Specialist chemicals with a dash of desirable headphones in the office.


Bauhause, Jeanswest, 1ten1, Jag Jeans, Hoyts, Boost, Nandos, Coles, Springfield, Myer.

H.

...

The End

H.

...



H.

I think i was/am wrong. When the roof was blown away by the unexpected, new light was let fall upon the situation.
But what about the rest? Discard the previous assumptions based on this? And what about the past? Surely some wisdom is to be gained?

... And there they stood, marooned, with no escape. Desperate to avoid its stare, they hid behind everything. The advert for the new insurance, the lightpole, even the glass window its self.

Unrelenting, ceaseless, it bore down apon those stranded soles, untill the white angel rounded the corner, delivering them not only relief, but home too.

...

oh and don't forget about Christmas. December 24th FYI.

H.

...

midnight smoothies and runaway phone calls. We are? We are the waiting. Message. Smile. Message. Laugh. Message. Tear. The air; thick with the regret of a day wasted; blamed on the incandescent heat, radiating from our earth's good sole.


LEMON overload.


Chemical actions, resulting reactions, with checked questions in multiple points. Time passes; and with it gains the new perspective, and change. For the better? ...no. But superficial views should not be judged upon lightly; though they always, and will always do.


Postage stamps with yellow packaging; the midnight run too steep and able for the most willing.

H.

...

So I've spent a good hour sorting the 'my picutres' folder on my computer, fun times. Hundreds of random screenshots; 12000 photos, with another 800 from my phone, and an assortment of digitally altered bits and pieces later its almost resembling an some sort of order. In amongst it all I found this, which somewhat amused me....




H.

...

This crazy; mad world reveals nothing to the non-believer. Those speeding cars; passing by without the care of existence; their only aim to reach the end. The end of their journey, and so began a love affair with words.


H.

...

Sorry for offending you.

H.

...
referring to both Q and A, and lateline tonight.


Call me naive sitting here in my modern[ish] Australian house, but these scare tactics about the 'population explosion' really aren't having the intended effect.

So they reckon in 20 years [2030] there'll be 9000000000 people living on this earth, demanding 50% more food and energy and 30% more fresh water.

Sounds scary, but that is 20 years away? We have a lot of time to change, and I guess I have faith that we will?

Though, Australia does have a fertility rate of only about 2.3 so really, we only gain .3 of a person every generation.

Hmm. Maybe we should be scared; but hey use a condom.

Which brings about another layer to this issue. Shoot-me, but sometimes I wonder why they make the pope out to be all that he is.

Don't use condom's he says; they cause aids.
Don't have abortion; thats killing babies.

The second, yes its true[I really don't know where I stand on this...], but the first; how fucking warped can you be? Moreover, how can you third-world-followers of his word be so literal in your understanding that you'd be dead against using any sort of contraceptive, when apparently sex before marriage; and therefore babies; hence the skyrocketing global population, is no worries to you.

So you think I'm lying? Like I said; our birthrate is around 2.3; the same for most western countries. China, Japan, Russia; well indeed most of old Europe has DECLINING populations. So who are having all these babies then?



I don't mean to Judge religion; or anything of the sort. It just quite astounds the inner scientific person I am.



H.

...


IN breaking news! The RBA has again announced a rate rise of 25 basis points..



So you know those Industry Superfund- superannuation television ads?

Their tagline; 'run only to benefit members' , while maybe true, does ask some obvious questions.

If these funds don't pay commissions to financial advisors, and are virtually non-profit organisations, with their sole interest to produce the largest growth of your capital, why do they feel the need to promote themselves? Surely there isn't any profit motive in recruiting a larger contributor base?

In other more pressing economic news; The 90 per cent tax on goldfish companies was abolished by the treasurer who is an enthusiastic but secret collector of goldfish. Or so says my economic text.


H.

"From Now On We Are Enemies"


'I just want to be better than your head's only medicine'
A downward spiral just a pirouette
Getting worse til there's nothing left
What good comes of something when I'm just the ghost of nothing?
'I'm just the man on the balcony singing':
"Nobody will ever remember me,"
Rejoice, rejoice and fall to your knees
(for a)
Lunatic of a god or a god of a lunatic?
Oh, their faces are dancing
They're dancing til
Til they can't stand it
A composer but never composed
Singing the symphonies of the overdosed
A composer but never composed
'Singing':
"I only want what I can't have"
'Heralded as a king before I had a birthday
With double digits
Fit the crown to my head but I was only a kid'
'I'm just the man on the balcony singing':
"Nobody will ever remember me,"
Rejoice, rejoice and fall to your knees
(for a)
Lunatic of a god or a god of a lunatic?
Oh, their faces are dancing
They're dancing til
Til they can't stand it
A composer but never composed
Singing the symphonies of the overdosed
A composer but never composed
'Singing':
"I only want what I can't have"
'I just want to be better than your head's only medicine'
'I'm just the man on the balcony singing':
"Nobody will ever remember me,"
Rejoice, rejoice and fall to your knees
(for a)
Lunatic of a god or a god of a lunatic?
Oh, their faces are dancing
They're dancing til
Til they can't stand it
A composer but never composed
Singing the symphonies of the overdosed
A composer but never composed
'Singing'
"I only want what I can't have"

...

Tell me; when you _ _ _ _ me. It's nice to know when the time comes, because you know... ultimately its inevitable. 


Do you share my reality or am I just applying mine to your situation? Imagine the world where we share identical circumstance. Would war be eradicated? Would the world be a 'happy' place? How could anyone fight? We'd all understand each other?


But then, where would the uniqueness go? Every human, the same. Like a new housing estate, the number of bedrooms might change, the colour scheme of the front door even, but ultimately the same.

DARE! to be different I say! Bring upon the world; the wrath of your opinion. Unrest, it may well bring, but be bold.

H.

...

Halloween specials... well any holiday special edition of anything.
Daytime TV. mind-numbing boredom which you just can't help but watch. Kerry-Ann? Oprah? Ready Steady Cook? Judge Judy?
The Video Store phenomenon. Spend 20 minutes deciding what to borrow, only to see something better as you walk out the door, only just having borrowed some mediocre American comedy.
The awkwidity. when does it cease to become awkward to call someone's landline, and risk the chance of halving to talk to your friends siblings; or parents.

how about the superficial things?
WHY IS THERE NEVER ENOUGH COAT HANGERS!?
WHY ARE MY WHITE SHOES NEVER WHITE?
WHY CAN'T I SLEEP BEFORE midnight.
WHY DO I ALWAYS PURSUE THE IMPOSSIBLE.
WHY DOES MY PHONE BATTERY ONLY LAST 3 'YES'CALLS?
WHY CAN'T I BE A SILVER REWARDS MEMBER TOO?
WHY CAN'T BUYING A CAR BE AS EASY AS BUYING MILK.
WHY DOES BLU-TAC UNSTICK WITH CHANGES IN TEMPERATURE?
WHY DOES THE BUS RUN HOURLY ON A SUNDAY.
WHY DO I CONCERN MYSELF WITH SUCH TRIVIAL THINGS?
WHY CAN'T HAVE MY OWN IKEA BEDROOM.


I'll admit it. Storage turns me on.

Jokes.

But Ikea does rate. [:

H.

...
who is this guy... and why do I care?


The influence @jnttphm and @mornane have had on this blog, is well, doubtless. Think you never know what all these cryptic messages are on about? Welcome to my life.

Alienation and supremacy is not, and never will be the purpose of this blog. You might just find, given the question, that answers are freely available.

H.

...
Retro fashions, and stately issues.
Many borrowed thoughts regarding delightful studies of echoed spaces.
The name now known, that macabre picnic.
Hide and seeking in epic proportions, mailing the comments away.
Extended responses to multiple questions, specialising in distraction, squeaking, and the method of obtaining half-price dim-sims.
The lost scene; the environmental destruction; something about New Zealand and arranged marriages.
3 hours and two seconds. are you alive?
9 hours 7 minutes. are you hungry?
Secretive codes in plain view.
where did the time go?
Three hypothetical Omegos; One Two Three?
what's this place? I'll never know.
Simon > Sam , pr( |Z| < c) = 2a-2; 0 < c < 3,
we had too much time.
toys and fast black cars; sleeking past.
judgeless assumptions; the things of ideal worlds.
too much of anything is too much?
the hour + 1 in the warmth never hurt anyone.
If you really knew; you know it would be something else.
we fought like tomorrow was promised.
Cheese Flour Honey Water Butter Salt GladWrap Envelope + E
Mid way down night road; desolate factories lit-up like Christmas trees, and the elves are in full force too.
RED YELLOW YELLOW RED, recycled thoughts of plastic boxes with wheels,
OPEN said the shop; and the quiet guilt laden many file in through the discrete amber threshold.
The world can see you.
Live.


H.

...

Pictures of you; Pictures of me- remind us all of what could have been.

H.