I will not be one of those "Thanks everyone for all the birthday wishes" people. I will reply. Individuality. 




So, this is it. Is it? Well I mean technically I'm only four hours in, but really I know. In fact, I somehow knew it was always going to be this way. The epitome of the perfect night out. The ones who wished they could, but couldn't, as usual. The ones who said they would but wouldn't, as usual. The ones who said the should, but didn't, as usual. And the one I missed the most, and missed me too, as usual.

Why expect anything less than the expected? Otherwise disappointment is sure to ensue.




H.

I think, I've become less brave.

You might've noticed I don't write on here as often any more. Rest assured nothing has changed. I still write just as much, I just don't have the guts to press 'publish post'  any more.




H.

you know, I know that you know. But you already knew that.




H.

This part of me loves the guy I am now.
That part of me hates him.

This part of me loves where I'm at.
That part of me can't wait to grow up and have security.




H.

maybe you wouldn't have to worry about your virtual footprint if you had put as much effort into the real world? #justsaying.


H.

You shouldn't feel obliged to come, just because it's a birthday. You should want  to come, just because it's me. And that, right there, is all  the difference.


H.

This is the third attempt at writing this. The first was too specific, enough details to ruin many a surprise. The second was so arrogant even my extreme modestly (joke) was making me cringe. Third time's a charm yes?

So I know that this is probably coming far too late, considering I've heard talk of organising presents for people with birthdays as far off as January, but please, don't buy me anything.

I'd prefer a card with a genuine message over anything any day. The things I want in this life can't be bought with money, and so a simple hug, the obligatory 'happy birthday', and a renewed subscription to your friendship is all I could ask for.

Something with thought  and effort is worth more than anything. See, I have money, I can buy things. I can't buy you.

On the off-chance you're super organised, disregard this message.

H.

How can I be the solution when I'm the problem?

H

So boycott love, detox just to retox
And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life
Imperfect boys with their perfect lives
Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy


H.