23rd March 2010
That fleeting moment of freedom- turned into the rest of my life. The overwhelming joy, the months of searching paid off, the price irrelevant. The people I chose to see at crazy times of the night, to show off my newly found independence. 


29th September 2010
The clichéd way to end the day. The carnival setting, the fireworks, the great company. I wouldn't trade you for the world.


10th October 2010
The day this friendship graduated. The surf. The sand. Just sitting there enjoying the moment, with the sun setting and tunes playing, watching the waves crash by.


19th December 2010
For the not so obvious reasons. For the lunch. With you. (well any one of the many we shared) the hour stolen from work. The knowledge that you're a 'keeper' again reaffirmed. 


For the dinner, the favourites. The ones who aren't afraid to call me a friend.


4th January 2011
We made it up that god damn hill, with an excuse perhaps, but worthwhile (in the end) none-the-less (even with the sunburn).


16th January 2011
Reliving the tweenager years we never had. The cards, and the vodka, and the outdoor setting prime for dancing. 


Every other Monday
The skinny latte. The short macchiato. 


Every other Saturday.
The tuna pillow. The ham and cheese toasty.


Every other Wednesday.
The bans. The lattes. The intellectual conversation. The age.




these are the reasons for living.




H.

Heres where I spill the beans, and you think you know exactly what I'm talking about. You know what though? You really don't.

Sometimes, I can't help but feel jealous. Not of you (I'd hate to be you), but of the way you never get left out of anything. Just once I want someone to organise some huge party and not invite you, just so you can feel what its like. And the saddest part is that I, even after admitting that still can't bring myself to do it. Because lets face it, everyone would come just to see you anyway.

H.

Bitch, pah-lease

Somehow I think you've got something a little bit skewed. I'm not sure where you think the distinction lies, between gossiping about here-say or commenting on something you've volunteered for everyone to see.

When I choose to write something here, I know that people will talk- in fact that is half the point really. I make no illusion to the fact that I'm not always happy about what is said, but at the end of the day, that is on me. I am the very person writing details about my life on the Internet for literally anyone to see, and therefore have no ground to base any resentment I feel towards any specific person, lest I remove the post or delete this page altogether.


Man up and take what you've brought upon yourself (or do something about it).


H.



ne pas être un ennemi

In the night see a face in the dark
In his face see a light shining gold
And this man, walks alone singing songs of victory
When he sleeps there’s a struggle and the light begins to fade

This is the beginning of the end.

That is what I'd like you to think anyway. Sometimes though, we can't always get what we want. I can see this all falling apart, and right now, I can't see a way to fix anything.


H.

always has been, always will be.




J.

I wish that life wasn't/isn't so hard to just accept things for what they are.

Sometimes you just have days that are just so fucking shit throwing the towel in doesn't seem like such a bad idea, or those days when you are just on top of the world and nothing can bring you down.

And then something does.

Here's where the 'but that's just life' spiel goes, but I'm not sure I can take that as an excuse anymore.

You know what, I get it.


I get why you felt that way.
I get why you acted that way.
I get why you just felt you couldn't look at me any more.


Though somewhere along the lines I'd like to think I'm different. That somehow, despite all the hypo-criticism, I can see the line between here and the demise of the world we knew, and stop all the madness.


 I guess though, that would require the will to act, something which I can't bring myself to have right now.






H.

You know what, you're probably right.

I also think you need to work on your skills of subtlety.


H.