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I think I've come to the conclusion that the only reason 'we' don't talk is because i tell you everything anyway. You don't even need to ask.

Fidelity - Regina Spektor

I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music


And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart


And suppose I never ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall


All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better


I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting by heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
All this music
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart


I hear in my mind all of these voices
I hear in my mind all of these words
I hear in my mind all of this music


Breaks my
Heart
Breaks my heart

Definitely worth the $2.19

H.

Its all over. Bring on next year and all the disappointment. 


H.

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down.


You. Inspire. Me.


H.

Christmas

You know what, I'm sorry to spam, and I told myself I wouldn't write this, in the spirit of all things Christmas, but its been a full day and its still eating me up inside ( or that could be just the many helpings of Christmas dinner deciding to resurface). Actually, I realise that my love of national holidays is such that nothing that anyone can ever do could compare to my over exaggerated expectations, but still I think given the effort I went to at least a thank-you would have been nice? You know, I don't even care if you don't even bother send me even a card, but the polite thing at least is to accept my token of kindness with good grace and appreciation. I guess you never learnt that life lesson.

Disclaimer: You are probably thinking 'oh-shit he's talking about me again' and you'd probably be dead wrong, again. If you have even the slightest doubt, go with it. 


H.

Moreover

We've always been great friends yeah? So what are we now?




H.


I, its your move.

developments in my story.

Somehow I missed it. All of it. I think I even knew, way back when, the initial encounter proclaimed, and a new title was staked out for the making. But since that fateful day all knowledge of existence had escaped this mind until now, and now, I feel like I've missed the real you, for all those months. I guess, the writing was always on the wall, just not one I could see ( but only hear).




H.

I will not be one of those "Thanks everyone for all the birthday wishes" people. I will reply. Individuality. 




So, this is it. Is it? Well I mean technically I'm only four hours in, but really I know. In fact, I somehow knew it was always going to be this way. The epitome of the perfect night out. The ones who wished they could, but couldn't, as usual. The ones who said they would but wouldn't, as usual. The ones who said the should, but didn't, as usual. And the one I missed the most, and missed me too, as usual.

Why expect anything less than the expected? Otherwise disappointment is sure to ensue.




H.

I think, I've become less brave.

You might've noticed I don't write on here as often any more. Rest assured nothing has changed. I still write just as much, I just don't have the guts to press 'publish post'  any more.




H.

you know, I know that you know. But you already knew that.




H.

This part of me loves the guy I am now.
That part of me hates him.

This part of me loves where I'm at.
That part of me can't wait to grow up and have security.




H.

maybe you wouldn't have to worry about your virtual footprint if you had put as much effort into the real world? #justsaying.


H.

You shouldn't feel obliged to come, just because it's a birthday. You should want  to come, just because it's me. And that, right there, is all  the difference.


H.