you. what can I say?

like that moment when the sun comes out on the most gloomiest of days.
like the feeling when your day just works.
like that feeling of freedom when you just get into your car and drive.
like that first sip of coffee on a cold winter's morning.
or when your favourite song comes on the radio and you can't help but sing along.

I can live without the rest. I can't live without you. 


H.

I tried, so very hard. Sometimes it doesn't make any difference, the world just fucks its self up on its own accord.

I don't do this poor thing very well. The anxiety, the unknown. I thought I was over this, I guess I was wrong.

You can count on me- I'll be there. 


H.

Well its done.

I mean I wasn't even there for that long, but it still seems to be overwhelmingly sad, and that has a lot to do with Borders' status of not only a shop, but almost a destination. And I suppose it is this unusual take on the retail experience that made it all it was, and led to its downfall too.

The co-workers will be missed. The books will be missed. Even (some of) the customers will be missed.

you have it all wrong.




H.

I'm aware that that you shouldn't compare yourself to others, and use this comparison as a judge of how successful you or they are. We don't live in an ideal life, and so I do it anyway. This next part is going to offend most of you. Stop reading now.

So these comparison's I make, usually involve several insignificant markers as a gauge to how far you've progressed through life. Things like, not having your motor-vehicle license ( through not a lack of trying, but the lack of a will to get it), or even way back when, not having ever had a job. And I think, that's why I often come across (without meaning to, but acknowledge-ably so) somewhat superior. What it comes down to, is me judging the lack of motivation to progress. To see the opportunity waiting there, and not do anything about it. Actually, I think what I'm more getting at is independence.




but hey, this is my problem, not yours. I was never one to 'wait' anyway.


H.

You need to look outside the square sometimes.


Stop. (and,)


Think. 


Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all.


H.

you+me, outside now.


How do you know when your resentment is founded upon fact, and not jealousy?

I guess I'll never know.


Maybe I'm lying. When I think about it, I'm in no way jealous of you, your situation, or your life in general- leading me to conclude you just are that annoying that I'm beginning to resent you.


I'm glad I have this conversation with myself. Thanks for listening.




H.

sometimes I just feel like you've stolen my life. AND all I want to do is scream and yell and tell you to get the fuck out (of it).




H.

If 42 is the answer, then what is the question?


J.

I'm aware that Deakin has lower entry criterion. I'm also aware that I don't always hold this university in high regard. But I'm not sure where in this context you think you can act as condescending as you do, and make out as if somehow what I'm doing isn't really legitimate.

I know I'm not as smart as you, but maybe you should not think less of Deakin's standards and instead consider more my ability when I say achieving here doesn't seem that hard.


H.