I want to believe that this could be real, that all of this, the lying, the scheming and the cheating could  would eventually amount to something worthwhile. I'm still hopin', but in the mean-time I guess the meander through existence will be enough for entertainment currently.

So here's to the life unexpected, the plan's foiled and the dreams shattered, because expectations are nothing more than worthless attempts to control fate and half-hearted attempts at that.


and on the seventh day, the resolution hast put to dust, the realisation that nothing ever changes trumps all good will.


H.

You know what I don't get though- is why you bothered to invite me in the end anyway?




H.

And i think in my mind, as I hear the shutter whurring and the screen rolls the final credits, why should I care? Because it breaks my heart...

Sometimes I wonder the meaning of all of this...

You know something though, she was right, and so was I. I can't help the way I feel about you. And the worst part is I'm not sure its ever changed. Why someone never woke me up to reality I'll never know... I can't believe it took me this long to realise.

You know what? Fuck you. 'sleep' just happens to be a major part of my life, a third to be exact. So yes, I am going to buy a $55 pair of Peter Alexander pajamas to match the $300 Egyption cotton Sheridan sheets, and you're just going to have to deal with that.

H.

Why does it feel like we haven't spoken in forever?!

Oh, wait, that's because we haven't.

This is the obligatory post. The one, like Christmas which, is full of that holiday cheer we all know and love. Like the year culminating in tonight, this moment right here, seems apt. Ever year, those same old resolutions get wished for, and every year we find excuses as to why we should be wishing for the same one again for the forth year running. Like the cliche goes though, this year will be different. Actually wait, I'll be different this year.

H.

I think I've come to the conclusion that the only reason 'we' don't talk is because i tell you everything anyway. You don't even need to ask.

I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music


And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart


And suppose I never ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall


All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better


I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting by heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
All this music
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart


I hear in my mind all of these voices
I hear in my mind all of these words
I hear in my mind all of this music


Breaks my
Heart
Breaks my heart

Its all over. Bring on next year and all the disappointment. 


H.